Personal Inventory

I often take inventory of my own life. Where am I at? What am I doing to progress and grow? In what ways am I doing better now compared to just a few months ago? What can I do and should I do tomorrow to improve upon today? Unfortunately, I don't always love the honest answers to these soul-searching questions.

I came across this passage the other day and it gave me reason to reflect upon my own discipleship:

"And when [Jesus] was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?
"And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.
"Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.
"And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth.
"Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.
"And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions." (Mark 10:17-22)

I wonder if I would react as this man did or would I be truly dedicated enough to Christ and His gospel to do the thing I felt least able to do? This man had observed all the commandments from his youth and perhaps was quite pleased with himself, thinking he was ready for the next step. Do we think, as this man apparently did, true discipleship is to simply not kill, steal, commit adultery, etc...? I hope not. I think once we master the "thou shalt not" commandments, (and desire further discipleship), we will be given the "thou shalt" commandments which most likely will be those things we feel least able to perform.

I often think of Nephi's bold statement and covenant with the Lord concerning obedience: "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded" (1 Ne. 3:7) A promise, so simply stated, yet so valiantly kept! Nephi, too, was asked to do something he thought he would never have to do when he happened upon an intoxicated Laban. (1 Ne. 4:7-18) We know that Nephi "shrank" but nevertheless he "did obey the voice of the Spirit." (1 Ne. 4:10,18) What a contrast!

Now here's the inventory part: Can I follow the various commands and counsels of the Lord no matter how difficult or will I "[go] away grieved" when the counsel is much harder than previously anticipated?